Vietnamese PHO-nomenon

So some, if not all of you will know that I had a travel meltdown about August and spontaneously booked at trip to Vietnam out of nowhere for the September school holidays. My work-bestie Lynne decided to come along and we booked a Gecko tour because report time ensured little time for planning. In fact, work was so cray, the trip snuck up so quietly, I hadn't packed the night before. You would have thought Linda didn't raise me.

So, all of a sudden, we sent the kids away for two weeks and that night, we were on a plane. My first time EVER flying out on holiday not alone, and let me tell you IT WAS AMAZE. There is just a tiny bit more room when the person you are touching from the shoulder, through the thigh, to the knee, isn't a complete stranger. When I struggled to put on my travel socks, it was ok to lean over into Lynne's side just a smidge, and when I needed to get out a pen to fill in documents and my food tray still hadn't been collected, I could put it on top of hers... ahhh breathing space is a luxury.

"What isn't a luxury?" you ask. "CHINA FREAKING SOUTHERN AIRLINES" is my reply. Trust me. Do not. Ever. Fly with them. 

Now I like to think that I am an amenable customer on a plane. I have never pressed the call button and will put up with a fair amount of inconvenience. I didn't complain of my 16.5 hr flight from Doha when the person next to me clearly didn't understand bathing, man spread over into my space and hit me in the head with his suitcase during a completely masculine and adult tantrum. It never occurred to me to bring up the clearly negligent signage for Lufthansa flights into Frankfurt that caused the entire plane to wait in the wrong area for customs, and almost miss my connection. And on this flight, I was fine with the TV not working, and I dealt with the 'replacement tablet' that only had videos in Mandarin. I suffered through the inedible, hard bread roll and accompanying unidentifiable food. But waiting just over 25 minutes for the bathrooms - due to them being occupied for 25 minutes, not due to a colossal line, only to find them urine soaked, and to see that maintained for the 11+ hour flight was too much for me. This was, of course, proved to not be a unicorn, when the flight home repeated the experience. 

I could nit-pick through the rest, or you could just take my word for it. It was awful.

Adhering to the alphabet would have ensured my name was on this sign but nooooooo.

We arrived in Hanoi with a day or so by ourselves before the tour started. A bit more advice - check the weather before booking a holiday. Just do it. I was a shiny bauble of sweat for two weeks. It got marginally better as I sort of acclimatised, but only so far as to not be literally dripping, and graduating to beading sweat.

Morning 1 - Coffee was very different, but due to the heavy French history of Vietnam - actually very good. Crazy sweet, and even after that they tried to add condensed milk, but when it was black it was perfect. The sweetness was a great energy boost with all the sweating and it was strong and perfect.

We were staying at the hotel we needed to meet our tour at, and it was perfectly situated in the old town. We learnt very quickly to kind of dance through the traffic. You needed to go with the hectic flow of scooters. Try and wait for the right moment to cross, you would either be a pancake or be stuck forever.

A B52 Bomber wreck from the war

Ho Chi Minh's tomb - closed unfortunately

The gardens

We had an unfortunate toilet incident in the gardens - our first encounter with public restrooms. It was unpleasant. I shan't give you details, but anyone who has travelled relatively intrepidly through Asia will know what I mean. Lynne flat out refused to go, whereas I used my well-practised traveller's technique where I manage to touch absolutely nothing, while not breathing. Luckily, and frankly surprisingly, this was the only uncomfortable toilet incident - all the rest were clean and well maintained, if not at all fancy.

Temple of Literature

The incredible Temple of Literature, in central Hanoi, is rapidly closing on 1000 years old and boasts Confucius as it's pre-eminent scholar. The architecture is superb as it reflects the numerous expansions over the years throughout the various dynasties. 

Hỏa Lò Prison

The prison was pretty fascinating, with very overt communist intimations on the signage and descriptions. Its history is pretty interesting, too. The prison has changed hands a fair few times. Originally established by the French for political prisoners, it flip-flopped during the Vietnam War and was the prison where John McCain was a POW.

The heat drove us into a very unusual cafe with Barbie displays.

The Women's Museum was fascinating and celebrated the history of women in Vietnam.

Quan Thanh Temple

Inside the temple

That night we met up with our tour. So many Australians...

The next day we got a bus to Hạ Long Bay and the hazy morning blossomed into an incredible day. One of the most incredible natural places I have ever been.

I almost died climbing these steps. So. Hot.

Dau Go Cave - Filled with rainbow lights. It was so pretty.

After a night in the disappointing Hạ Long Bay town, we headed back to Hanoi for the afternoon. I dripped my way down to Hoàn Kiếm Lake and visited the temple on the island in the middle. It was the site of some severe bombing, and it killed a giant soft-shell turtle, one of only 3 of the species remaining. Considering this, and the fact that the turtle is the only non-mythical sacred animal of Vietnam, the temple was fully dedicated to the deceased critter - which was stuffed super-weirdly and on display in an air-conditioned glass coffin.

That night was the first of our 3 overnight trains to Huế.

Buh-bye Hanoi. We discovered Huế on the back of scooters. It was awesome. Zoom zoom. Oh, and for the first time, the constant scooter-breeze meant I glistened, rather than dripped. For a bit, at least.

We hopped on a cruise down the 'Perfume River' (Sông Hương) which was decidedly not perfumey. Apparently, flowers from the orchards fall into the river and make it smell amaze - not at this time of the year, though.

At the end of the river, we visited the Ngọc Trản Temple and Thien Mu Pagoda.

This temple was the home of Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Quang Duc - who martyred himself during the enforced atheism of the pre-Ho Chi Minh government. The photograph of his self-immolation (below) is one of the most famous images of all time.



And here is the car:

Ugh, my hair is too short.

Back in the old town, we explored the Imperial City - an incredibly palatial imperial palace that is systematically, and effectively being restored.

After Huế, we drove to Hội An.

Hội An was the best. So, so pretty.

Old Town Hội An is the city's extraordinarily well-preserved historic district. The South-East Asian trading port is remarkably unchanged since the 16th century.

The famous "Japanese Bridge," dating to the 16th-17th century.

On our second day in Hội An, we had a bike ride through the outskirts. It was, again, so hot. I, of course, did not get sunburnt. Getting sunburnt is irresponsible. And I wouldn't know anything about it. Because I didn't get burnt.

Traditional boat ride, with a Vietnamese make over :D

A surprise, hidden temple with no tourists. Win!

A spot of shopping in Hội An was incredibly fun - most shops were completely ethical - with workshops out the back, hiring locals and Agent Orange victims, or the direct product of local artists.

The following day, I went to the Mỹ Sơn Temple (pronounched Meesun) - with temples dating back to the 4th century. Both older and more extensive than Angkor Wat, it's fame is diminished by the extensive damage sustained during targeted bombing over a week-long period during the Vietnam War. It is very slowly being repaired, but the methods and techniques used to build it are unknown.

A bomb crater

After Hội An, we travelled to Nha Trang. Nha Trang sucked. It was a beach retreat for Russians and had no culture or history I could discern.

Off the coast, however, we did visit fishing island Hòn Miễu, which was nicely removed from the tourist melee.

The next day, bereft of anything to do, I went to the 'spa option'. The last time I chose that, a Thai lady violently abused my personal bubble and put me off messages for life. But better than the beach.

The 'mineral mud' baths were interesting. We started in an empty concrete bath that slowly filled with gloopy mud. It was really viscous and was hard not to float.

After soaking, we had to sit around and let the mud dry. In 98% humidity.



After not drying at all, we showered, high pressure hosed and soaked in clean water before playing around in the pool. It was something I shan't repeat but was not as bad as I thought it might be.

After escaping Nha Trang we made it to Ho Chi Minh on the last of the 3 overnight trains of the trip. Ho Chi Minh was really vibrant and exciting.

Lolz :D Phuc Long

We took a day trip to the Mekong Delta.

We saw a bee farm and I still don't like honey.

It rained so hard.

I looked fabulous. MMM. Sweat and a 50c hat.

Snek!

Elephant ear fish - made into fresh spring rolls infront of us, using only chopsticks and sillz.

Ho Chi Minh at night.

The next day...


Look who we found!

Alex and Michael were starting their trip through Cambodia and we had a day overlap. So, like the excellent pal I am, I added them to the Cu Chi Tunnels trip.

Lol 'Smellex' hahaha perfect. The Vietnam guide tried to call her that too.

The tunnels were fascinating, a spidering and extensive network of tunnels with parts extending pretty far north. The tunnels were a key element of the successful Viet Cong resistance against the United States, and after visiting it is obvious why. The tunnels are hard to spot in the now open areas and are unbelievably teeny tiny.

An enlarged tunnel. Enlarged.

The traditional opening made more obvious.

We went through a portion of the tunnels. It was pretty squishy and intense. And, as usual, hot.

pew pew!

We stumbled across a gorgeous Hindu temple on our way to dinner.

In the Ho Chi Minh museum, the Declaration of Independence, in a perspex box.

Yep. That says Hitler.

Oh yeaaa, look what I found.

Lolz. Again.

A quick visit to our fave restaurant before heading to the airport.

I never got to wear my unicorn poncho. :(

Oh, yea - mah name is on tha sign!

We ran into our work mate Harriet in the hole that is Guangzhou airport - the horrid, desolate layover for China Souther Airways. Remember them? I do. I will never be able to forget. But it was saved and made enjoyable with a smattering of girl talk and gossip!