Pho-bulous Vietnam

Ho Chi Minh City

We arrived Ho Chi Minh City by riverboat and were poised to start the next leg of our trip. After leaving the boat, boat passengers, and my parents behind us, we celebrated our independence and freedom by promptly heading to the tallest building to survey the landscape of FKA Saigon below.

We then checked into our hotel with a glass-half-full approach, fully aware that the view was not going to hold a candle to the scenery slipping past our corner windows on the boat. But we weren't quite prepared for a view into our own bathroom.

Freed from the restraints of the fully catered cruise I pendulumed to the other side and immediately ordered golden apple snails. The invasive gastropod is a South American import that has gotten out of hand and decimated most freshwater ecosystems in the delta. A classic story. I was excited to try some more unfamiliar foods - a proper exposure to crickets and locusts in Cambodia revealed they are, in fact, delicious. 

However, when the rather sizeable steaming plate was sat down in front of me I had two chopsticks and no idea how to proceed. I had to ferret out the WiFi password and watch an online video, before I could figure out to twist the corkscrew shaped meat out of the shell, and finally tasted... nothing. It was just chewy nothing. Rather disapointing.

After dinner, we tested out the hotel's rooftop bar (nice) and retreated for a bubble bath (also nice).

The following morning we flew to Da Nang, indulging in an 80-cent massage chair session.

Hội An

It was an hour-long transfer to our ageing Hội An resort. The rooms were tired, but the grounds were still spectacular - right on the banks of the Thu Bon River, and over the walking bridges from the centre of the Old Town. After checking in, we wandered into town and started Leo's fitting for a custom suit.

Check out those colours! Cashmere outer fabric on the left, silk lining on the right.

Hoi An was a major shipping port of the Champa empire, supplying silk and leather to China from the 1600s. It claims to have the third oldest Chinese settlement outside China.

The Old Town gained UNESCO recognition in 1999 and was added to the list of 'sites in danger' due to its coastal proximity and low-lying elevation. It is a traveller's oasis - motorised vehicles are banned after dark, allowing people to meander through the streets without the ever-present fear of scooters needed in the rest of the country. The whole town is stunning, with exceptionally well-preserved buildings that reflect the people and times of the 15th to 19th centuries. Most are painted a sunny, cheerful yellow - the colour of luck, prosperity, pride, royalty and superiority, but also a practical shade for a hot country.

But, in my opinion, the diamond in the crown of this exceptional destination is a tiny water source called Ba Le. The well produces alum-rich water, which is mixed with ash and then used to soak the region's noodles. The unique water seals the noodles and gives them a chewy texture. This technique is isolated to Hoi An, and as the handmade noodles have a 24-hour expiry, they can only be enjoyed at local restaurants. Noodles are used to make two key dishes - cao lầu and mi quang. 

Finally, Bánh bao bánh vạc, the "white rose" shaped dumplings, are Hội An's food masterpiece. The dough is a 130-year-old family secret and uses Ba Le water. 

I combed through reviews and blogs until I found the best places to eat all three of these dishes, and finally, my gastronomic Vietnam odyssey was underway. Every dish I ate in Hoi An was yummy, and most were exceptional.

Cao lầu noodle soup at a pop-up restaurant on the riverbank. 
Cao lầu is grilled pork, greens and herbs, with a small amount of broth over the noodles I rhapsodised about earlier.

We saw in the 2023 New Year, just the two of us, in the infinity pool at our resort, with a 50c beer.

The next morning was a bike tour through the rural areas of Hoi An.

We jumped off our bikes into boats to explore water-coconut canals and a 'tourist trap' show that played Gangnam Style on repeat to men dancing in bamboo boats and coaxing us to throw a traditional fishing net (I was excellent at this).

Back on the bikes, we headed to a vegetable farm. The family had been farming the same land for hundreds of years and grows the whole scope of possible produce in beds about a metre wide. No mono-cultures here.

Lunch at the farm.

Pit stop for a fitting - 24 hours after placing the order.

Mi Quang. The noodles are tossed together with a small amount of intensely flavoured broth made from pork stock, served with grilled pork, herbs, a crunchy cracker, and some toasted nuts. The lack of soup sets this apart from other signature noodle dishes.

An obscure blog told me this place was worth it, and though it was a twenty-minute walk through un-illuminated streets, and ordering was a challenge as they were not used to tourists, my research delivered. This was a highlight of the whole three weeks and my favourite dish of the trip.

We stumbled upon this fancy-pants restaurant on our walk home from our $1.50 noodles and the location was so magnificent we stopped for a beer.

The most famous Bánh mì in Hoi An - endorsed by Anthony Bourdain. It was nice.

Bà Nà Hills

Bà Nà Hills was our out-of-the-box itinerary item. The station in the Trường Sơn Mountains (west of Da Nang) was founded in 1919 by French colonists to escape both the heat and the unfamiliar culture. They built Parisian chateaus, manicured gardens, and wine cellars. At 1,500 metres above sea level, it has a view of the East Sea and the surrounding mountains and a chilly and wet climate at odds with the sea-level towns it overlooks. 

A Vietnamese real estate development company purchased the dilapidated and abandoned area in 2007 and poured money into it. Six cable cars help you move about, including the longest non-stop single-track cable car at 5,801 metres in length. The company is working closely with Da Nang to appeal to the Chinese market. Apparently, the trick here is to provide excellent photo opportunities and not overdo the temples or history, and it is a trick that the collaboration is proving very successful at.

It is an odd place, completely out of sync with the rest of our trip, and with appalling weather. And it was fascinating.

Rising into the clouds.

These cars were from the 1800s, according to our local guide. 👀

Inside were rides and arcade games that struggled to impress.

A wedding photshoot.

Weather at the top.

Manicured "Hội An" scenes for photo opportunities.

Fitting #2 with Leo helping make the pocket square.

Leo finally finding a souvenier that interests him.

A nearly demolished plate of the Bánh bao bánh vạc, the "white rose" shaped dumplings.

Transfer to Huế through Marble Mountain

The five limestone peaks of Marble Mountain rise sharply out of the coastal plateau and have been a spiritual pilgrimage site since the ancient Cham empire. The natural caves have been adapted into pagodas built by Mahayana Buddhists and the Nguyen Dynasty Kings. Climbing into the largest of these - Huyen Khong - we viewed the massive stone Buddha and two shrines before climbing up and out of the narrow and steep 'heaven's gate', with me in my road-trip friendly smock dress and jandals.

Out of the gate and into 'heaven'.

The sign on the way down.

One of the 'minor' caves.

A highlight of the transfer to Huế is the Hải Vân Pass - a 21km ribbon of tarmac over the coastal mountain pass on a spur of the larger Annamite Range that juts into the East Sea of Vietnam. It is a steep road - 496m up and down in that short 21km, and on a clear day offers spectacular views. However, we seem to have dragged the Bà Nà Hills weather with us and, at points, we could barely see the bonnet of the car. A shame, but at the bottom, under the clouds, we did see the train winding north, which we would catch from Huế the following day.

Huế

Yet another questionable glass bathroom. I took this photo from the bedroom.

Bún Bò Huế - the food snob's alternative to the 'basic' phở, an admittedly delicious dish that is richer and more flavourful than phở. It was incredible, but not what I would consider better. It stands alone.

 

Some supermarket pics - see here individually packaged sushi.

Imperial City of Huế

The Imperial City of Huế was the capital of the Nguyen Dynasty for 140 years, from 1805 until 1945, and was the seat of the last monarch of Vietnam. The sprawling city has a wide range of internal structures, with varying styles based on year, the king of the time and the purpose of the buildings. Since it became a UNESCO Site in 1993, the remaining buildings are being actively restored and preserved after severe destruction from the Vietnam War. However, evidence of ballistics is still very evident.

According to our guide this is a bazooka hole.

Damage from the war.

Damage from a bullet insdide the Queen's residence. 

After the citadel, we boarded a strange little dragon boat with four red plastic chairs to go up the Perfume river to Thien Mu Pagoda.

Thien Mu's iconic seven-story Phước Duyên pagoda is the city’s unofficial symbol and the pagoda is the oldest in the region. Eclipsing that is that this is the pagoda of monk Thích Quảng Đức - the monk who drove his Austin Westminster to his own self-immolation. The sacrificial protest was in response to the discrimination of Buddhists from a governmental level, and after others began to follow suit, change was implemented. The photo of his calm demeanour as he burned is one of the world’s most famous photographs and adorns an album cover. The car is still at the pagoda, as is his heart. The organ remained intact after the immolation and a later cremation, leading many to believe that this was proof of his purity and immortality.

For the rest of the day we visited some burial sites of previous kings, avoiding crowds, and trying not to fall over on the pretty docrative walkways.

Flower delivery

As the day came to a close, we headed to the train station for our overnight train to Hanoi.

Train snacks

Hanoi

Our time in Hanoi was disjointed - split between a trip to Hạ Long Bay. Our arrival at 5am meant we had a slow start and then were collected on ancient Vespa motorbikes to see the city highlights.

Phở - finally!

We visited a farm that cultivates the area of the Long Biên Bridge. Apparently this family has an income of less that $120USD a month.

Operation Linebacker II was a bombing campaign intended to compel North Vietnamese leaders to sign a provisional peace agreement and to ensure it was persuasive the target was the heavily populated area between Hanoi and Haiphong. 1,318 civilians were killed. The US did suffer some casualties, with the cities defences managing to shoot down fifteen B-52 bombers on December 27th, 1972. The wreckage is a maintained memorial to those 'Christmas Bombings'.

The famous 'train street'. The train passes only a meter away from the houses lining the street, and the safety line (you can see the yellow line to the left) provides a scant 20cm space between the walls of the buildings and the oncoming locomotive. 

Tết celebrates the arrival of the Vietnamese new year, and was just days away when we were in Hanoi. Seeing the decorations for sale and getting a peek into a non-western celebration was magnificent. Above are Chinese paper lanterns and ornaments, all in red and gold. Each house also displays a kumquat tree, engorged with water and chemicals to ensure the tree is dripping in tiny orange citrus fruit. You can see an example on a motorbike a few pictures back. Some are little, and some are huge, and almost all are delivered on the back of a moped. After the celebratory kumquats fall off, edible ones grow in their place, ensuring that the tree is much more sustainable than our Christmas versions.

After climbing off the Vespas we went up to the rooftop bar at our new hotel and worked our way through a few cans of the local beer.

Hạ Long Bay

The next morning we were collected in a fancy minivan for the four hour drive to Hạ Long Bay, where we faffed about a bit with boarding procedures and transfer boats, before boarding an incredible ship to spend the next couple of days on, exploring Hạ Long Bay.

Hạ Long means “descending dragon”, and an adjacent bay is named for her child. The bay features more than 2000 islands and islets, most so steeply rising out of the water the only inhabitants are birds. The geography is 3 million years in the making, with humans being comparatively new to the area, and most of the c.1600 local inhabitants live on artificial floating structures. Hạ Long Bay is Vietnam’s most famous and significant UNESCO World Heritage Site. And it. is. gorgeous.

Our boat - the Peony II.

The sun begining to set on our first evening.

Getting some 2-for-1 cocktails - a mistake.

On board cooking classes.

Day two - our only full day - was spent on a 'day boat'.  It was a nice ship that tootled us through the jaw dropping scenery, however, we were not quite cognizant of exactly what was happening, and we missed the beautiful big boat we thought we would spend the day on. It returned without us to transfer guests on and off the mainland - a savvy but irritiating business call - while we spent the day on a sparsely equipped boat without our belongings. While the bay was no less beautiful, we felt a little lied to about our perceved experience. All in all, we really only slept on the big boat - it was just a nice floating hotel.

The view from the day boat.

Cycling on Cát Bà Island - the largest island in Hạ Long Bay

The entrance to Viet Hai Village - one of the only land-based dwellings in  Hạ Long Bay with a population of 300 people.

Rice spirits.

A fish pedicure - this was the real deal. I have done this twice before and had my feet nibbled at halfheartedly - these fish went to town and my feet are still smooth weeks later.

Returning to the water and our day boat, we were given to opportunity to kayak to nearby beaches nestled into the nooks of the bay.

We returned to the boat for sunset, and it was gorgeous - again.

Having just woken up on the last day to this view was magic.

We eschewed the return to the day boat and dry land for a bit of sitting-by-the-window.

Leaving on the transfer boat - despite smiles we are gutted. Bye Hạ Long Bay!

I was excited that upon our retun to Hanoi I had a window to play tour guide. I took it very seriously and planned out a whole thing. First we caught a pedal-powered tuktuk to a very fancy bakery, where locally source cocoa is fashioned into made to order treats.

My cheesecake (left) and Leo's crème brûlée (right).

Next was the 'Maison Centrale' - or the Hỏa Lò Prison - originally built by French colonists for political prisoners, later converted by North Vietnam for U.S. prisoners of war (including Joe Biden), who nicknamed it the "Hanoi Hilton". The prison was demolished in the 90s, with a few remaining buildings serving as a museum that is heavy-handed with pro-Vietnamese government propaganda.

As night fell we made it to Hoan Kiem Lake (Sword Lake). There are legends and myths about warriors and swords related to the lake, but all feature two critically endangered Swinhoe softshell turtles. One was taxidermied and on display on my previous trip to Vietnam, and the other one was reputed to be haunting the small inner-city lake. I didn't buy into the story at the time, but by this visit, the second turtle had passed, been preserved by modern methods and was on display next to it's counterpart. Shows me for being a sceptic.

In addition to the new turtle, the lake was teeming with people, TV crews, and chillies. We had no idea what was going on but it was loud, eccentric, and fun.

Leaving the lake behind, we wandered to the 'beer district' with a new friend in tow - I got my hands on a helium baloon shaped like a pig that I christened Patricia. She was a little volatile but was good company for the night.

A late night stall for gravestones.

Hidden Gem Coffee - Quán Cà Phê Tái Chế - A cafe made of only recycled materials, with all profits going to women in need. 

Upstairs at Hidden Gem Coffee - Quán Cà Phê Tái Chế

A Bia hơi stall.

Bia hơi is a draught beer brewed daily and drunk fresh from steel barrels. It has a low alcohol content but is fresh, crisp and delightful. The glasses it is served in are called cốc vại and are the creation of a German-trained Vietnamese designer who made the glasses to ensure that the lovingly-made local beer could be enjoyed from serviceable vessels. The glasses can hold half a litre and have a low centre of gravity to ensure stability on the rickety roads and tables of the streetside vendors. They cost about 3 cents to purchase (though the price can be up to 40 cents these days), and are made exclusively by three families in Xoi Tri, a village in Nam Dinh Province. The tumblers are made out of recycled glass, even broken cốc vại. I loved this history so much I refused to leave Hanoi until I got my hands on two to bring home.

Bun Cha. Grilled pork and meatballs in a watery noodle soup, served with crab spring rolls. We liked this so much we came back for our last meal.

The last day we had signed up for a cooking class, and it was excellent. The local chef that led the lesson had just resigned from a Michelin starred restaurant to persue Vietnamese cuisine, and he took us for a long rambling walk through the market, giving details about the food for sale and the people who sell it.

A tuktuk ride to the market.

A bag of live frogs.

Rice wine infused with cobra.

Soon, we were fed with our own creations, slept it off, and then we were on our way to the airport. Always the bittersweet moment of any trip. One the way through Singapore I finally got to see the butterfly garden, and I must say, Dunedin's blows it out of the water! But it was still a good interlude to a stopover.